Ever feel like you’re just going around in circles with your goals and you’re not sure how to break out of the never-ending cycle of getting inspired, coming up with a really GREAT idea, creating a plan to execute, and then falling flat on following through on your plan to completion?
Well today, you’re in for a treat! I’m revealing the 5 stages every goal-getter goes through in order to overcome procrastination, beat overwhelm, and mature into a trailblazer! And it’s actually something I only exclusively talk about in my online program 90-Days: One Goal which means I’m taking you behind the scenes and giving you gems that only my clients get and that’s totally okay with me because I know you’re ready for it, so let’s go deep!
What Are The 5 Stages?
We know based on science that 91% of people FAIL to achieve their goals. Why does this happen? Because let’s be honest, we give up too soon. When we first get started on the journey, we’re all excited, walking around with a journal full of bold dreams, but by day 10, we’re emotionally exhausted, feel beat down by life, and just wanna move on to working on the next idea. Right? I know. I’ve been there.
So what do we do? How do we break out of this never-ending cycle of self-sabotage, fear, and procrastination? With these 5 stages, you’ll be able to better understand your journey, give you the hope and strength you need to just get yourself to the next stage, and provide you with a clear vision to help you stay on track!
The Birth of A Dream: Fantasy Island
This is when you begin to realize what’s possible for YOU! You start dreaming about better days ahead. A better future for yourself, family, business, community, and the world! You’re bursting with brilliant ideas you long to execute, inspiring places you will visit one day, and all the cool people you will meet along the way!
You have a vision board FULL of ideas you can’t wait to start working on and you’re beginning to feel the call to live a deeply fulfilling and purposeful life. You have a big vision for yourself but because it’s so big, at times it can feel intangible, so you often ask yourself “how the heck am I gonna really do this?…and how long will this actually take?”
The vision is compelling but at this stage of the game, you spend your time:
- Dreaming about what you wanna do
- Visualizing getting the end result (living a new life, being a new person, having new experiences, etc.)
- Have immense hope that this dream will happen! It’s just a matter of time.
And one of your biggest fears at this stage is “what if I put everything I have into building this dream life only to end up 2 years in with nothing to show for all of the time, effort, and money I put in?” Deep down in your heart underneath all the adrenaline, you wanna know
HOW CAN I CREATE SOME LEVEL OF GUARANTEE to ensure I’m not wasting my time or using a strategy that won’t work?
Your compelling vision is calling you to get started, but at this point, you wrestle with the lie that you don’t know how. And because you’ve never done it before, you use that as confirmation that you’re stuck, things may never change, and you need someone to help you. So what’s the resolution, you ask? Keep reading, stage two is definitely your ticket out!
Related Post: Dream Bigger Than You Ever Thought Was Possible
Planning + Preparing
After you’re done bouncing off the walls with excitement because you finally know what you wanna do with your life and you know this is 100% possible for you, you enter a stage in the game when you begin looking for a strategy! So you start
- Reading classic self-help books like Think & Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People by Stephen Covey, Developing The Leader Within by John Maxwell, and so on.
- Watching motivational content on Youtube and you discover inspiring speakers like Les Brown, Zig Ziglar, Eric Thomas, Tony Robbins, etc.
- Tuning in to empowering and insightful podcasts like this one.
- And you surround yourself with big dreamers who are taking action on their goals!
Woouuu houu! You’re on your way and your dreams are beginning to feel more real with every step you take. But here’s the one thing holding you back. You haven’t put a start date on the calendar or committed to one plan of action. So right now, you’re basically just gathering information, weighing your options, and considering the best route for you.
Deep inside, you wanna get started and you know it’s time to get started, but when you think about where you’re going compared to where you are, who you are now, and everything you think it will take to get there, self-doubt creeps in and you ask yourself “who am I to do any of this? Am I ready for this? Yea, I know this is possible, I’ve seen others do it, but can I actually do this?”
Fear in the form of doubt says, “what if my dreams are just a result of some inspiring movie I watched a few weeks ago and it’s not actually my destiny?” “I don’t have the qualifications to make this happen so do I need to go back to school now? I hate school!” “I’m 30, 40, 50 years old. I should be settling down in life, taking the steady route with job security and family responsibilities, not picking a new dream to pursue.”, “I feel LOST!”
So as a result of this, you begin to procrastinate! You know you have this incredible dream you wanna achieve ONE DAY but because you’ve been allowing these lies to feed your mind, fear has crippled your ability to move forward. Here’s how you can break out of that.
Break Your Allegiance With Limiting Beliefs (Lies)
At this stage, most people try to hustle their way out or force themselves to just do it anyway, dismissing the root of their frustration which led to procrastination in the first place. This allows the lie or limiting belief to spring up again and again when faced with another situation that triggers the same internal response.
So they find themselves making progress, taking action, and seeing quick results, but they have an internal battle that prevents them from being fully present, enjoying the beautiful journey of growth they’re on, finding opportunities around them, and eventually end up sabotaging the process. This is why I teach my clients and students to use a 90-day framework to implement their goals!
Why A 90-Day Framework?
When you have many ideas, goals, and things you wanna complete, giving them a 90-day structure gives you a step-by-step guide on which projects, tasks, and activities to focus your valuable time on, instead of trying to get everything done on the same day within the hour (lol trust me, I’ve done this before)
You’ll have a clear, focused timeline with strategies and beneficial routines that will make achieving your goals more easily attainable within a shorter period of time. This also helps you to track, measure, and review the progress of your goals.
It’s the easiest way to go from being a big dreamer with a lot of really cool ideas you will get to someday to having a clear plan you can execute today!
When you use a 90-day framework, you have:
- 90% higher chance of success rate
- Quick wins/results in less time than you thought you needed
- Manageable workload with only the most important and urgent activities for you to do
- Realistic time frame so you can actually get things done (even with a busy schedule/lifestyle)
- Knowing upfront what your key performance indicators are so you can exceed your goal (KPI’s)
- Have a clear execution strategy that includes a measurable timeline
90-day chunks bring your intangible goals to life by supporting you through the implementation process. Giving you clear steps to execute regardless of how you feel, what distractions are going on in your life, any lack of inspiration or motivation, and struggles with follow-through or discipline.
Executing + Collaborating
This is my favorite stage, but I admit, it’s the most challenging! The principles here are fairly simple but implementing them requires character. None of the work we do in any of these stages happens overnight but that is especially true for this stage. Follow-through is the name of the game here and let’s be honest, most of us suck at this!
When we think about what is required for success, we often think of things like discipline, hard work, having a strong mindset, supportive family and friends, systems, teams, great environment to grow, and so on. And although these are all good, they are not necessarily true.
We can all think of at least ONE success story we’ve heard where the person grew up in the worst of the worst situations: they were neglected by their parents, struggled to find themselves as teenagers, ended up making horrible choices that led to jail time, drug abuse, or even bodily harm, and one day, they just decided that they were done with the life they had created for themselves and were ready to choose another path.
People who have succeeded despite hardships
These are people we all admire like:
Sidney Poitier: He was turned down multiple times at the American negro theater. He went on to become the first African American to win an Oscar.
Oprah Winfrey: She grew up in extreme poverty.
Walt Disney: Fired from his job, declared bankruptcy, rejected 300+ times for his idea to create Disney.
Albert Einstein: Couldn’t speak until he was 4 and couldn’t read until he was 7.
Chris Gardner: Went through a divorce, jail time, homelessness, and more. Has gone on to establish his own brokerage firm and now has over 60 million. Btw, you might remember his story from the movie The Pursuit of Happyness!
Elizabeth Arden: Her business failed after 6 months. She joined forces with a chemist and went on to generate over 1 billion dollars in sales by improving the beauty industry.
Georgia O’Keeffe: Struggled with severe anxiety and was even admitted to the hospital. Went on to become a highly respected artist whose work is sold for millions of dollars around the world.
So What Is Really Required For Success?
Contrary to popular belief, success is not a result of who you know, what you know, or how much you know. Success is the result of who you choose to be! It’s a by-product of how you show up in your day-to-day life! It’s the result of your daily decisions, actions, habits, and so on, which are deeply intertwined with your thoughts!
The Debrief: Reflection Is The School of Wisdom
So you’re almost there! You’re making progress! And then surprise! You thought that after doing all that work, you would have no issues getting to the finish line, huh? Boy oh boy, you are in for a treat today!
At this stage in the game, you understand that your goal does not end after you attempt to achieve it or even after you have attained it! That is just the beginning of a new normal for you. You’ve raised the bar higher than you’re used to, you played the biggest game of your life (so far), and now it’s time to review the results.
After you complete your 90-day cycle, it’s time to take a look at what actually happened, hold yourself accountable, and tell the truth about what you did and did not do and what the outcomes are as a result of your performance.
So it goes a little something like this:
My 90-Day Goal: Write 5 chapters for my new book – Great! I can’t wait to get started! This is gonna be a New York Times best seller one day!
The Plan: Finish one chapter every 2 weeks. – Boom! I can do that! Easy peasy! 30 mins every morning will get the job done! I’ve already added it to my calendar!
Execution: 7 days later: 3 days this week, I was mentally exhausted and I didn’t wanna bring that kinda energy to my work. I decided I would work for an hour the next day which I did but most of that time turned into trying to find something inspiring and clever to write about so now I’ve started falling behind!
What we think happened Vs what actually happened
What we say: “I only got 2 chapters done instead of 5. My life is just too busy! My dog got sick, my kids had virtual school, work was super busy, and I lost track of time, barely could keep up with my thoughts, and just felt super overwhelmed so I did what I could.
What actually happened: The first week, you were focused and diligent, you told yourself you would get 5 chapters done no matter what, but by day 8, you fell back into an old pattern and started doubting yourself. You saw that your friend Samantha was starting a business on Instagram and thought “wow, that’s cool! I hope it works out for her” and slowly scroll after scroll, you lost your fire.
By day 12, you stopped working on your book consistently, spent more time on Youtube looking for ways to improve your writing, keeping an eye out for inspiring videos because let’s be honest, you thought that’s what you needed to get the job done.
Now 30 days in, you only have half a chapter done and you’re feeling overwhelmed because you’re telling yourself that you’re behind and need to get caught up on the 2 chapters you didn’t complete yet plus the others and it’s all starting to feel like too much work when you think about the dog, the kids, your spouse and friends, and other commitments you have going on and aaahhh! You just wanna scream “GIVE ME MY TIME BACK!”
Our Story VS Reality
There is a difference between the story we tell ourselves about what is happening in our life and with our goals and the truth about what actually happened or is going on. Our story often allows us to feel justified in why we haven’t followed through on our commitments or why our life is still stagnant. So when we continue to perpetuate that lie, we continue to give ourselves permission to keep creating the things we don’t want.
On the other hand, when we look at our situation objectively and tell the truth about what has happened or is going on, we can make new choices that align with the outcome we want to create. And by making these new choices, we create new habits and behaviors which would lead to our desired outcome.
Reset: Dust Yourself Off & Try Again
This is a popular idea in the personal development space, but most people don’t know how to do it and so they don’t. In 90-Days: One Goal which you can learn more about by heading over to theresaforever.com/waitlist, you get a clear step-by-step breakdown on how to tweak and improve your performance and strategy to get the maximum results from the goals you want to achieve the most!
Here’s a quick review of what it means to properly reset!
This is the level in the game that separates goal-getters from trailblazers. Most goal-getters are going from
- Idea to Goal
- Idea to Goal
- Idea to Goal
Which is a good habit loop to be in (if you haven’t read the book The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg, get it, it will explain the habit loop process and how to create one – if I do it we will be here for another hour and I know you got things to do!)
But you’ll end up feeling like a chicken running around with your head cut off doing a bunch of things trying to figure out what works and what didn’t, not knowing what to actually do to move your life forward and thinking that you just need to find some secret knowledge in order to break out of this cycle.
How do I know this so well? Because I’ve done it many times. And I can tell you from experience. THIS. DOES. NOT. WORK.
Related Post: The Best & Worst of 2020: Biggest Lessons & Mistakes
Here’s How Trailblazers Do It
Very few actually graduate from the idea to goal phase, then from:
- Goal to Debrief
- Debrief to Reset
- Reset to MOMENTUM! – We’ll talk about that in just a second!
If you want to take your life to new heights, create an impact in the world, and get off the hamster wheel of trying to make something happen, trying to figure your way through all the options and good ideas, then jump on the waitlist to learn more about 90-Days: One Goal! The self-study program is opening up in a few weeks so when you jump on the waitlist, I’ll give you some of my best tools and resources for creating change in your life, the Alignment tool that helps you gain clarity on your unique purpose in this world, and so much more!
Plus you will also be the first one notified when the doors open! So you can get in ahead of the crowd and get started building your dream life ASAP!
Once you have perfected your strategy, matured to a level of commitment that you have never demonstrated before, and have created a new standard of achievement for yourself, you can rinse and repeat this process by turning it into a system. This is where you transition from being a goal-getter with inspiring big dreams to becoming a trailblazer that inspires more than just your friends and family, and people who know you.
This is where your impact is multiplied and challenges that once seemed unbearable and hard become your daily exercise. Triggering events and situations no longer distract you or knock you off your game. What people think about your growth and progress no longer scares you and living your life on the edge with uncertainty and courage feels exhilarating and empowering instead of scary and intimidating. You are in control of your life, time, resources, and it feels great to know you are finally on YOUR path!
In this stage. you:
- Have systems and routines that work together to produce the results you want on a daily, weekly, monthly, and quarterly basis
- You have a network or community of people around you that add to your life and encourage your growth and transformation
- You’re not afraid to dream out loud! Because you know you are who you need to be in order to make it happen
- You trust God, the process, and yourself to create meaningful change in the world
- You are in control of your life
At this level, you still experience fear, but the difference is you have the tools, experience, and wisdom to navigate through it, instead of suppressing and ignoring you. You don’t waste time wondering how things will happen. You go back to your tools and create a way for it to happen.
If people don’t believe in your dreams, you don’t feel offended, get mad, or cut them off. You know they are on their own journey and in time, they too will see that what they desire for themselves is possible and the world is full of opportunities for anyone to take hold of them to create what they want.
As a trailblazer, life feels peaceful. You work in flow. It’s not about hustle, it’s about alignment. It’s not about being better than others or proving that you have what it takes to win, it’s just being who you were made to be and allowing others the freedom to do the same. It’s not about having the most money or being the most influential person on the gram, it’s about creating what you’re here to create and showing others that they can, too.
You have empowered yourself and now can go on to teach and help others do the same. Go head, trailblazer! The world is yours for the taking!
Join The Waitlist
If you find yourself stuck in one or a few of these phases, jump on the waitlist to learn more about 90-Days: One Goal and how it can help you to overcome your challenges, navigate through all the noise in your mind, limiting beliefs, and lies you held on to that are holding you back, and surround yourself with a supportive team of people whose only goal is to see you win!
Your dreams are worth pursuing! Until next time, let’s stay connected on the gram! Follow me at @TeeForever_