Nelson Mandela said, “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” Can I ask you something? How often do you feel fear? Maybe you said, “a few times a day, or more than you’d like.” That’s cool. Now let me ask you something else. How often do you allow it to determine your choices?
Here is an example:
You might have a really cool dream of starting an online business, but this nagging voice of fear keeps pushing up it’s ugly head up saying, “Well, if you start a business, what are you gonna do if you don’t get any clients? Without clients, you’ll basically go broke PLUS everyone is gonna see you FAIL!…I know you. You’re not ready for that. So just stay here and keep learning…you’re not ready”
After considering this thought for a while you say to yourself…”that’s true!” and you take it even further. Panic begins to set in and you tell yourself “I’ve never done this before! I don’t know what I’m doing, this is a cool dream but it’s not realistic…maybe I’ll get back to this in a few months but right now it’s not for me” and while all kind of lies (fear-based ideas) fill your mind you ultimately make the decision to do…nothing.
Then in a moment of inspiration while hearing about someone else who has achieved what you desire you realize that you can do it too! And wonder why you haven’t done it yet and off you go on your rollercoaster of emotions. When you’re inspired you believe in yourself, but on the average day when things seems hard or you come up against a challenge you change your mind and fear sets in. So today I wanna help you break the cycle! Hit play and dive in!
The 3 Fears:
1. The Fear of Being Judged
Let’s be honest, everyone wants to be liked! That’s right, we all (including me) want to be understood, have a safe place to be ourselves, and be accepted just as we are. (PS: If you said “no”, you are lying to YOURSELF! Lol!)
The fear of being judged shows up in our lives as a mask we wear. We hide our real self behind this mask because we don’t want to be rejected, labeled, or criticized for being who we really are…because that hurts more. It feels personal. So we protect ourselves from people’s insensitive, negative, or downright rude opinions and walk around using our masks as a shield.
But what if I told you there was absolutely no need for you to wear this anymore. Would you believe me? Because here’s the truth. You are already loved and accepted as you are right now! And here’s another truth. Whether you wear a mask or not, some people will still choose to judge, label, and criticize you so is the “problem” really YOU or is it the person who is choosing to judge and misunderstand you? (yea…chew on that)
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Let me help you. People who chose to criticize others only do this because they do it to themselves. They are not happy with themselves and so they see and treat others in their world as they do themselves. So baby, it’s not personal! People who always have something negative to say about you has nothing to do with you, your worth, or the value you bring. It is not a reflection of you at all! It’s a reflection of their brokenness! So don’t let someone who doesn’t know who they are lead you into thinking that you are less than amazing because my friend, you are all that in a bag of chips and then some! You hear me!? Alright, good! *wink*
2. The Fear of Failure
This kills dreams before they even get started. Taryn Rose said, “Fear regret more than failure.” Before you talk yourself out of doing something that you know will take your life or business to the next level, consider the consequences.
- What are you ultimately letting go of and saying “no” to when you say “yes” to fear?
- What kind of limitations are you placing on yourself when you give into a fear-based idea?
- Who will you become when you allow yourself to be restricted/silenced by fear?
These are all of the questions I ask myself whenever I feel fear trying to creep in and lead me astray. We all know that fear is false evidence appearing real, but how do we work through it? What can we use to counter this false evidence? I’m going to share with you the only thing that I know that absolutely works 100% against fear. Ready for it?! The answer is…love!
The True Antidote To Fear
I want you to understand that no matter how many times you fall, you can get back up because you’re loved and accepted just as you are. Understand that growth happens in stages and you are a work in progress so as long as you keep working on yourself you will continue to make progress! Accept that you are valuable and you have something to offer the world! YOUR gifts make room for you and the world, your community, your tribe, your peeps are looking for to rise! So how do you do it?
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The Goal Achievement Framework
Simplify your life with a 90-day goal setting and achievement framework. I walk you through all the steps here because not knowing HOW to do something is the reason 91% of people hold themself back from fully going for it. They doubt their intelligence, discipline, focus, and drive. They believe in others more than they believe in themself, and sometimes they just need a good ole push in the right direction!
Maybe you do too? I know I have my moments. Not having the right connections or knowing the right people is not a reason to delay your purpose. Not understanding everything there is to know within your industry is not a reason to label yourself unqualified. You have something to offer right where you are and the honest truth is, the people you are here to serve don’t need you to know everything there is to know about the topic. All they are looking for is someone who is a few steps ahead of them! (read that again!) They want you to take them to where you are which is only 5 steps ahead of them but you think you have to be 10 steps ahead in order to start. So go on! Share your expertise because all you have is exactly what someone else needs!
3. The Fear of Missing Out
This is one of the biggest distractions I see so many people fall into! We don’t want to be excluded from what everyone else is doing so we go along simply to fit in. We think if we aren’t there, we are MIA (missing in action). But what exactly are we missing out on?
If we are here on this earth to complete a mission, shouldn’t that be our primary focus? Why do we want to waste time fitting in with people who have a totally different missions, agendas, goals, from ours and are probably off course because they are distracted?
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Now, don’t get me wrong. It’s good to enjoy good company. Spend time with friends who inspire you, get to know new people, surround yourself with brilliant minds that challenge you. That’s all good. I do this constantly! But listen to me closely, if you want to be great and do all of the amazing things God made you to do, then you can’t spend every day of your life like this.
You need boundaries with yourself and with others. You have to be intentional about how you use your time and value yourself enough to be okay with saying “no” to things that you know deep within yourself are simply a big ole distraction! Because here’s the truth…you really are worth it. Your dreams are worth it. Your life is worth it and your destiny is WORTH IT! hit play for more. I hold NOTHING back!
So Let’s Recap:
I want you to think about this. Nelson Mandela said, “May your choices reflect your hopes not your fears.” Can you say this is true about your life or are you currently making permanent decisions based on a temporary emotion (fear)? If so, what is one thing you can do today to break this habit? Build your life on truth, not people’s opinions or past experiences. Don’t know where to find the truth? Well, that’s easy. For me, it all starts with the good book (The bible)! Until next time trailblazers! Stop dreaming and start doing! Love you, xo!