Almost a year ago I was exactly where you are. Afraid of failure, clueless about whether my decisions would produce the kind of results I wanted, and unwilling to publically make a huge mistake. I had a big goal (start a coaching business) so I constructed the most strategetic plan I could create at the time. I sought the best mentors, teachers, and coaches in the industry to help guide and advise me (invested in myself). I had done my fair share of research, gathered years of experience, and drew up a well thought out business plan so I was optimistic that things would work out. As most of you know I don’t talk (or write) about anything that I don’t personally practice so when this business idea came to me I took action.
In the beginning, I went through my fair share of self-doubt while questioning my ideas. I had continually thoughts of “what is my backup plan? What will happen if I fail? What will I do if this doesn’t work out? and so on”. It was a clear indication that I was living in fear of failure and it was coming to light the more that I moved closer to launching my dream.
Have you had this experience? Are you currently facing a situation that is challenging you to let go of the fear of failure and spread your wings and learn how to fly? Have you addressed this fear?
This mindset is so subtle that it easily goes undetected and unchallenged for YEARS! I talk to people every day who don’t realize that they have this subconsciously influencing their decisions and ultimately deciding their future. They think these fear-based thoughts are protecting them, guiding them, or helping them to make wise decisions.
Now before we go any further let me be very clear, fear is a healthy, natural emotion that we all experience especially when it comes to things we don’t understand or haven’t explored. It’s apart of our internal warning system that alerts us to danger. It is healthy to experience fear, but it’s not meant to control our lives, decide our future, or be something that we rely on for guidance. Fear, more specifically, the fear of failure will stop you from personal growth, accepting new challenges, and taking risks.
The saying “if you want to see something different you have to do something different” has become a cliche, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s true. You dream about opportunities and you want to take your life to the next level but you constantly self-sabotage (whether you’re aware of it or not) because the fear of failure is in full effect in your mind (which manifest in your life). You learn new information, try to break old habits and create a productive life but no matter how many times you try you keep failing and having to recommit to the same goal. Why does this happen? The problem isn’t the goal, it’s the person trying to pursue the goal, which means, it’s you.
enough to take risks
I’m your friend so I will always tell you the truth. In life, you will not go farther than your mindset will take you and your character will keep you. If you really want to break free from old patterns and start progressing with your goals you have to address your current mindset and beliefs. This fear of failure will not disappear if you ignore it for a few years or talk about it with friends, but don’t create an action plan to deal with it. You have to dig into it. Find out when it started, identify how you nurture it, and decide what you want to do with it.
For me, the fear of failure formed when I started to care about what other people thought about me. This was in high school. I wanted to maintain a polished image that led others to respect me and want to be around me. I would disqualify myself from new opportunities or different challenges that could make me look incompetent or too smart because I didn’t want to fail and then be labeled a failure.
Can you remember when it started for you? Was it on your first date as a teenager? During a big family event? Or maybe after listening to a specific song or while watching a particular scene in a movie?
After the initial idea of protecting my reputation and playing things safe, I was later encouraged by an adult to make sure that I win every fight that I get into. If I failed I would get into a lot of trouble. This further impressed the idea that failure is bad, failure is for losers, and failure is something I should never do. So, I kept myself locked away in an invisible comfort zone doing things that would not expose me to failure.
What are some current thoughts that you have that agree with the fear of failure? Do you think that failure is for losers? Or if you fail you become a failure? Growing up what were you taught about failure? What did you hear the people around you say about failure? How did you feel when you watched somebody fail? Was it good or bad? Were you punished for failing or were you told that you are capable of doing better? How have you fed the fear of failure over the years?
While in high school I affirmed and re-affirmed this belief of not taking risks for the sake of my reputation. I constantly self-sabotaged and missed out on growth experiences and this idea turned into a belief which became a destructive mountain in my life. As I got older the fear of failure became more and more ingrained in my subconscious. I couldn’t just “grow out of it” or let it go. No matter how many times I physically tried to achieve something it would not happen. No matter how many times I prayed for improvement I was stuck. No matter how many times I worked with an accountability partner things continued to stay the same. I would always sabotage my goals because I was afraid of failure. When I acknowledged this stronghold and decided that I didn’t want it dictating my life anymore I got to work with the help of a supportive team and uprooted it!
What about you? Are you tired of this belief hindering you from achieving your goals? Do you want a fresh start at your dreams? Do you recognize this mindset in your life and want to clear it out once and for all?
than your mindset will take you
If you said “yes!” then it’s time for you to do it! Take action. Don’t procrastinate. Make the next best move for your future and your goals. If you’re ready to kick this mindset to the curb, re-establish your self-confidence and take risks to crush your goals before the end of this year then do something different. Book a free session or share your goals with us here.
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This month, in order to avoid stretching myself thin I am only working with 5 ambitious women who are clear about what they want and are ready to face reality to make it happen. If you are reading this and you know this is an opportunity for you to take your goal crushing to another level then don’t allow the fear of failure to hold you back. Take a chance on yourself and apply here.
It’s no secret. Success is yours if you truly want it, but if you truly want it you have to prove it. Let go of should of, could of, would of and start today. You can’t change your past, but with every choice, you’re currently creating your future. *Cheers* to a month of progress with your goals and real personal freedom and confidence in your life. Until next time,
